January 25, 2008

  • Grateful?

    Somehow I get sucked into the world of blogs, and go from blog to blog to blog to blog of people I don't even know. I'm assuming that's how I found this one: http://ourowncreation.wordpress.com/. I thought I was heartbroken after my two miscarriages. But it must be so much harder to carry a baby (or two in her case) long enough to feel kicks. So much harder to give birth and meet that beautiful face. So much harder to watch a tiny baby overcome so many obstacles in their short life, only to die after all. With me, I was sad about losing a future child. But so many people lose a child that they have met, prepared for, cared for, and loved. With all the stories out there about how so many preemies born at 24, 25, 26 weeks survive, sometimes I forget that many don't. I think I'm grateful that I didn't lose a baby I'd already met. Am I still sad? Of course. But it puts it into perspective a little bit.

Comments (2)

  • Dear Stacy,

    I *completely* agree...I always, always find, that getting my eyes off myself is the first, biggest step in changing my perspective.  I love how Hebrews 12 says it..."Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author & Perfector of our faith..."  Thinking of what Jesus did not only on my behalf, but even for those who hate Him is a guaranteed way to help me look more accurately at my situations.

    Thank you for your kindnesses in your note and for the great challenge & encouragement here.

    Praying...
    Deborah

  • I just read the first several entries of that blog...definitely a tear jerker.  It is difficult as a NICU nurse to hear parents thoughts and emotions as they deal with a baby in the NICU.  Good to hear...but hard.  So many times I have to block off emotions so that I can deal with the day to day of my job.  What keeps me going in the NICU is Psalms 139:16, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  All of Psalms 139 is awesome, but this verse has been particularly helpful to me in dealing with the death of little innocent babies.  I have to remember that God is in control of everything and he has a plan for each an every one of us no matter how short or long that life is.  I have to leave the little ones at His feet and know that He is taking care of them in heaven.  It is good to hear your positive outlook throughout your difficult time.  Sometimes it is when you lose the most that you realize just how blessed you really are.  Just keep trusting in Jesus and remember that He is faithful no matter what is going on around you.  I love you and miss you. 

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